Ask the Expert – Coping with the Guilt After Placing Husband in Nursing Home

Ask the Expert – Coping with the Guilt After Placing Husband in Nursing Home

caregiverguiltThe Ask the Expert Column appears in the Palm Beach Post every Sunday!

Q – I feel so guilty for breaking my promise and placing my husband in a nursing home. How do I cope?

A – First of all, try to be gentle with yourself and recognize that that it’s okay and perfectly normal to feel guilty. After all, this is your husband, your partner, and your best friend. At the time you made your promise, it’s unlikely that you had a crystal ball and could see what the future would hold.  As a spouse, there are few decisions in life that are more difficult to make.  Give yourself some credit for not making the decision in haste and taking the time you needed to research and find the very best nursing home for your husband.

I’ve worked with hundreds of caregivers over the years and I’ve found that the caregivers who are most successful in overcoming guilt are those that share their feelings and emotions with someone else.   Strong emotions don’t always bend to self-analysis. You may find that talking about your feelings with a coach or therapist will help you understand your feelings and help you move past unproductive guilt.

Feel free to call me personally at 561-588-4545 if you want to get started or if you have any questions.